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    Why do white girls date black men ??? Confession Time !!!

    They need help knowing what to tell their friends. Their friends want to know what the differences are, even when none are all that apparent. Give him some ammo.

    You will both help each other through this. Expect to learn a lot, too. I had never listened to Radiohead before dating my last boyfriend, even though I had heard they were a pretty influential contemporary band.

    Halloween presents unique opportunities. If you want to point out your melanin difference, there are loads of costumes you can partake in.

    But, you can definitely take yourselves less seriously on October 31st each year. When you fall in love, it will have nothing to do with your race.

    A lot of people on the Internet like to weigh-in negatively about interracial relationships and why they happen. Truthfully, like any relationship, you cannot help whom you love.

    If you have the same interests, enjoy spending time together, and can see a real future with someone, you will love them without even thinking about their race.

    Shit is crazy out here. I promise. I totally get where black women are coming from, too. Truth be told, it's important to me that they also get where I'm coming from and know that I'm not one of these sellouts who views them as undesirable.

    But because I know I'm not one of those sellouts, I feel no guilt about dating white women. If anything, I just hate that there's such a vast misconception about my intentions from people who don't even know me.

    I've been with many black women. But I don't feel obligated to be with them. A lot of white women have been extremely accepting of and loving towards me my entire life and that's all there is to it.

    Though this very article was written in an attempt to bring context to these consistently misunderstood relationships, I don't have to explain who I date to anyone.

    The reason why I do anything is because I want to. I never really think about race while dating unless somebody else makes it an issue or I notice that the way a white woman I'm with looks at something is flawed because of her upbringing.

    But that's not a dealbreaker. I view it as an opportunity to educate and eradicate even a small amount of ignorance. If I explain some racially complex subtlety of life to my white girlfriend, that's one more white person who knows why using "ghetto" as a pejorative is cringeworthy and offensive.

    That's one more white person who knows why I'm going to arrogantly list off my academic and professional achievements if some white person asks me if I play basketball.

    And I do play basketball. But don't assume that that's how the fuck I got by in life because I'm black and tall. And I'm going to go off if you say some dumb shit like that to me.

    But outside of those situations, I'm not thinking about race like that. I've always just dated women who made sense for me. I've never gone into it thinking, she should be white.

    The thing is, I have to consider that while I've hooked up with women of other races, just about all of my girlfriends in life, since I was 13, have been white.

    What does that even mean? Am I secretly one of those black guys who thinks white women are better and hotter and I'm just not ignorant enough to admit it?

    I've never gone out of my way to reject black women; I just have way higher success rates with white women.

    I went to a black high school and I wasn't on any of that thug shit and I'm not saying all black women want thugs, but at my high school, a lot of them did and they didn't really care about me.

    And that's fine. I wasn't like, "Oh my God, black women don't want me," because I'm not entitled to any woman. But there were white girls at school who were fucking with me and that's who I went with.

    Still, I can't help but wonder if I've been brainwashed by the Eurocentric beauty standards that dominate the world.

    I've had varying degrees of romance with women of most races—beyond the black and white binary. Personality is always decisive, but we know that physical attraction is important.

    I'm very honestly and legitimately attracted to the features of black women, and Latina women, and Asian women, and Indian women, and any other type of woman, but I definitely like the straight, light hair and fair skin and colored eyes you get with a lot of white women.

    It's not like I think that type of beauty is superior, but motherfuckers try to make you feel guilty for being attracted to those types of features at all.

    Let's be real, blonde hair and blue eyes are fucking attractive and thinking that doesn't mean you're a piece of shit who gives those features inherent value over the features of other races.

    Rihanna is hot and so is Blake Lively. Lupita N'yongo is hot and so is Allison Williams. Sue me for not allowing my race to limit what I find attractive.

    Maybe knowing how much a diverse range of attraction upsets people is part of the appeal of interracial dating. No matter how much more commonplace relationships between black men and white women become, the historical context always gives them a rebellious, taboo component that, honestly, kind of adds to the fun and excitement.

    Interracial marriages weren't even legal in every state 50 years ago. I've never gone into an interracial relationship outright trying to rebel against anything, but I've always enjoyed making people uncomfortable because ignorant, close-minded fucks need to have new ways of thinking shoved in their faces so they understand that they're wrong and shit is different now.

    White women are sadly some type of trophy and marker of success, and that's a huge fucking problem.

    As a black man, it invalidates the authenticity of any relationships I have with white women. It's depressingly superficial and it's dangerous.

    This ideal is why Elliot Rodger felt he had a right to start shooting—because he couldn't get a white woman to go with his BMW. That said, I understand where the ideal comes from.

    Whites are privileged in this society and having what they have serves as validation for a lot of people. Successful minorities love to say, "You're privileged but I'm so smart and awesome and financially secure that I have the same, if not better, house, car, and woman as you.

    Even if you're smart enough to look at the woman you're dating as a human and not a prized object, that mentality is still going to be cast upon you.

    You can be completely forthright and fair about whom you date but society will force you to consider these extra circumstances.

    I fall in love indiscriminately, but third parties will never let it be that simple for me. They'll always question my motives, and despite having no agenda, I have to think about beauty standards and how they influence me, subconsciously or not.

    Black men who are confused and self-hating muddle this further, and even more so if they have biracial children who turn out to be the same way. The same goes for the opposite side of the spectrum.

    That's just how it is. That comes with the territory. If you've been doing it long enough you're used to it and it doesn't faze you because it's all you know.

    But you still get looks. You still get questions. And all you can do is continue not giving a fuck and hope it won't be that way someday. Ernest Baker is a writer living in New York.

    Follow him on Twitter here. Related Blogs. That's the reality.

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